Do you have the appetite of a 5-year-old? If you don’t like your food touching
other food or only eat foods cut into the shape of dinosaurs, we feel your pain.
2797 S. Kinnickinnic Ave., Milwaukee
If you’re sick of eating pre-made plain cheese pizza from Ian’s, Classsic allows you to put anything you want on your pie or slice, whether you’re an herbivore, carnivore, or something in between. The menu is full of things that make you say, “How could that possibly taste good?” like the “Green Hawaiian,” with green peppers, pineapple, bacon, red sauce, and shredded mozzarella. But chill. Plain cheese is right there.
1947 N. Farwell Ave., Milwaukee
The Comet Café does a great job of making you think you’re eating high-class meals when you’re really eating comfort food. While someone in the booth next to you is eating duck confit poutine, your chicken strips just feel more grown up.
Kopp’s Frozen Custard
5373 N. Port Washington Rd., Glendale
This is the go-to in Milwaukee for people possessing a limited palate. Classic American staples like cheeseburgers, French fries, and onion rings with custard for desert. Brilliant.